Mama you deserve the best.

You just built and birthed a human. 

And while becoming a mom is the most magical thing in the world, it is also one of the hardest journeys you will take. After birthing your baby not only do you have a newborn to care for, but you also have a lot of healing to do yourself. Whether it’s physical, chemical or emotional it can all weigh equally as heavy as you navigate the first few months of your new life. 

My birth was hard, and honestly…. Kind of traumatic. It is true though when they say as soon as you hold and lay eyes on your baby everything else begins to fade. After 6 days of labor, transfer to a hospital from my home in which we had planned to birth, multiple heartbreaking interventions later and 4.5 hours of pushing I finally got to meet my beautiful son.

I had to give up everything I wanted for my birth and had to make decisions that still make my heart hurt. Because of the work I do, specializing in pediatric and prenatal care I know a lot about the birth process and the interventions that commonly come with them in this country. In my opinion, as a birthing mother, I knew too much. 

I know what Pitocin does to the bodies natural ability to birth. I know that having an epidural can negatively impact your baby’s ability to connect to you post birth because they too have the drugs in their systems. I know that epidurals can cause damage to the mother’s spine and nervous system. I know that a vacuum and forceps put severe stress and pressure on the necks and spines of newborn babies, sometimes causing permanent damage and conditions like torticollis. Knowing all of this made each decision even harder.

I knew the moment I stepped into the hospital if interventions were started, they would continue to snowball at a rapid pace. I wasn’t wrong. And while this is a story for another time, I believe that the hardest part was over.

Until I walked through my life post birth.

I don’t think women talk about it enough, and I sure don’t think that women get the support and love they desperately need after having a baby.

Postpartum is hard.

It’s even harder if your birth experience was traumatizing.

Three things that helped me though this incredibly difficult time:

1. ASK FOR HELP!

Yes, I know for some of you this is one of the hardest things in the world, but I promise you, not only do you need it, you will be so grateful for it. 

Because of the trauma of my birth experience, I was unable to even walk on my own after delivering my baby. It crushed me, I wanted to be able to hold him and carry him to his nursery to change him, to be able to sit comfortably and nurse him and rock him, but I couldn’t. I needed help. I couldn’t even get into my bed on my own. As defeated as I felt I knew that not only asking for help was the best decision for me and my baby- but accepting it with open arms was a must. 

This leads me to the next thing:

2. Set up your support system PRIOR to giving birth.

After you have your little one the last thing you will have the energy or time to do is try to put a support system of people in place. Family can be a great support system for many but it’s not the only option. Great friends as well as a network of professionals can help you get the help and care you need. 

My personal support system included my husband, my family, my doula, 2 midwives, my chiropractor, my postpartum PT and my massage therapist. Other great additions would include an acupuncturist or even a postpartum doula as they are specifically trained for postpartum care. 

Not only did these people and professionals care for me after the birth- but they also cared for me during the long days of my labor. My doula was with me every step of the way offering love, support and guidance. My midwife came after 48 hours to further investigate and offer advice and other routes that could be helpful during this time. She then returned after 4 days and took care of everything for my transfer to the hospital making it smooth and as stress free as it could be. My doula made us some food before leaving for the hospital and helped me pack a bag for my husband and I. My massage therapist came to my house and worked on me while I was in labor. My chiropractor came to my house to check and adjust me while I was in labor. All of these people showed up for me after the birth as well. I don’t know what I would do without each an every one of them. 

Even having something as simple as a meal being made or dropped off had a significant impact on my ability to walk through those first few months.

Nothing is too small during this time.

3. Get the care you need postpartum.

It is not selfish, and you can’t care for your new baby unless you first care for yourself. Sitting in pain and “toughing it out” isn’t what you deserve after bringing a life into the world. 

Go to talk therapy. Go to physical therapy. Get adjusted. Have someone watch your baby so you can sleep, take a bath or go for a walk. I promise you what is best for your baby is a mama who is taking care of herself. 

Make the time. 

Invest in yourself and your health. 

Love yourself. 

Because Mama, you’re worth it.